Grieving?! Really?!!

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.  ~Jan Glidewell

What am I really grieving?  Is it really because I want what I thought we had?  Was it really about the status of where we lived and our beautiful home?  Is it really about missing the woods where I so loved to walk?  Or is it deeper?  Is it really a lack of not ‘feeling enough’ within vs. measuring who I am by what I have and how I perceive others might see me?

What I am beginning to more fully understand  is that others who have what I wish I had also feel a sense of lack regardless of how well they are living.  There is something lacking is spite of what they (we) so abundantly have.  I suspect the truth is more about how we feel about ourselves.  Are we really lovable?  Are we good enough just as we are?  Are we accepted just we are?  Are we approved of?

I know when I am in a place of gratitude for the gifts that I take for granted, then money or status would become secondary or even more important, immaterial.  Chances are I will begin manifesting more to be grateful for when I truly can let go of wanting more externally, outside of myself.

Gratitude is something I intend to be more conscious of – not just in meditation, or journaling – but in every moment.  Like these!  I have my health.  I can type.  I can share and  communicate – hopefully inspire.  I can see.  I can read.  My hands and fingers move with ease.  I can cross my legs.  I am breathing with ease.  I can hear.  I can feel the air on my skin.  I can touch.  I can hug and receive hugs.  I have freedom.  I can smell.  I can appreciate a beautiful majestic starry night, the puffy clouds in a blue sky, the beauty of a flower.  I love.  I care.  I can smile.  I give and I receive.  My heart beats without any conscious choice and gives me life.  I am life!  I can make choices!

And what about the people in my life – my exceptional and loving partner, wonderful, caring friends, cherished family members including the gifts of my two sons, and all those that cross my path each day that my life would be less than, without…

This feels so good.  I have enough and then some.  I AM enough just as I am.  I am blessed.

And the Universe Unfolds~~~

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